2024 has quickly become the year of rediscovering parts of my childhood in many different ways, but one way I didn't expect that to occur was by taking a deep dive into fanfiction, specifically Harry Potter fanfiction. I don't know if I could tell you how this obsession started, since I didn't read fanfiction as a kid. Yet, here I am, thirty years old and I'm creating notes on Google Keep so I can keep track of the fanfiction I've been loving, which ones I'm in the middle of, and which ones I need to return to periodically to see if there are updates. My phone tells me that I've been averaging 6-7 1/2 hours a day on my phone lately and that's all because I've been reading fanfiction almost constantly, since it's at my fingertips. I've been allowing myself to dive back into Harry Potter in a way that I haven't indulged in quite some time.
Once it came to light that She Who Must Not Be Named (aka the author of this beloved series) is a transphobic and all-around problematic and terrible person, tons of people felt really conflicted about being part of the fandom. I know I felt that complication tugging at me and still do, to a certain extent. Yet, somehow, fanfiction has been a balm to soothe this ache I've been feeling as I attempt to be a good ally and still partaking in my favorite fandoms and that helped shape me into the person I am today. It's been a really nice way to have more adventures with characters I love while not supporting the author.
I was extremely surprised to find that fanfiction comes in all sorts of lengths as well as styles. There are plenty of one-shot stories that look at one specific part of the fandoms people write about and consider the "what ifs" that the series leaves behind. But then there are also tons of rewrites or complete departures that do the same thing, but in novel-length writing! Some of my favorites involve seeing what might happen if Voldemort recognized the signs that Harry is the horcrux he never intended to make and seeing Harry actually be raised by his parents or at least by Sirius.
There are relationships I wish the author could have explored explored (or not...) and we get to see how things could be if certain characters ended up with each other, broke up with each other, remained friends, etc. (for the record, I'm now a huge Draco/Harry shipper). Things that are subtle or glossed over in the series can now be looked at and scrutinized. Harry doesn't have to be okay with growing up abused and neglected. He can stand up to the adults that continuously did him wrong and let things slide when they really shouldn't have. Characters, like Snape, are able to redeem themselves in ways that actually feel like they make a difference in Harry's life and to the Wizarding World. Harry has been able to get therapy to help him work through the staggering amount of trauma he has been through in his life. People who died in the series get a second chance and they get to rise to the occasion of being the mentors, parents, friends, and family that they didn't get to be either at all or for long enough. And it's been amazing!
Getting away from plot points, there's also the matter of representation being a much bigger thing that it is in the original series, particularly LGBTQ+ representation. To get personal for a moment, I didn't really dig into my own sexuality until I started college. Not because I lived in a repressive household or had an unsupportive family or anything like that, it just didn't occur to me to think about it too hard and try and put a label to things. I was just myself. But then this summer, I was reading a story in which Harry discloses to someone with the same amount of casualness I had that he is pansexual-- if he's attracted to you, he's attracted to you. Gender isn't really a factor for him. I was reading in the car next to my wife and I audibly squealed because I literally felt so seen. Harry was coming out to someone with so little fanfare and with so much assurance that that's just part of who he is that it almost wasn't even worth mentioning. I've also come across stories where characters have different mental and physical health conditions and that's all representation too.
These fan pieces have made this story feel much more well-rounded and real than they ever have before, which I didn't think was possible. I really didn't give this type of writing the credit it deserves. It's been so lovely to dip my toes back in this world and not be left feeling gross or jaded or something else after diving in head first after not being as immersed in this world for quite some time. I feel more connected with the community surrounding this fandom, I feel more connected with myself in some ways, and I even feel more connected to my wife since we've been able to talk about this.
Who knows, maybe I don't need to stop at reading fanfiction. Maybe now it's time to try my hand at writing it now.
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