5 Things I Learned In My Twenties

I am officially 30!

This is usually a time of life where people freak out.  29-year-olds are freaking out because they're "getting old" and their "best years" are behind them (or something like that).  I've definitely joked that I'm getting old, but I'm actually looking forward to my 30s!  I'm proud of what my 20s were, but I'm feeling ready to move on to a new decade.  I feel lucky that I've gotten to live such a full life already-- there are things I've gotten to do that some people get to do later in life or possibly not at all:

1. Lived abroad --> 2014
2. Earned 2 degrees (Bachelors and Masters) --> 2016 and 2023
3. Got married (to my high school sweetheart) --> 2016
4. Went on my first road trip (LA to San Diego to the Grand Canyon) --> 2017
5. Became a full-time teacher --> 2017
6. Had a baby --> 2020
7. Lived through a pandemic --> 2020-2022/???
8. Bought a house and ended apartment life --> 2022
9. Sought ADHD diagnosis --> 2023

Not to mention the amount of travel I've gotten to do, especially before we grew our family, and the smaller milestones and cool things I got to do within/leading up to these bigger milestones.  

That's not to say that my 20s were easy and without its challenges or that I never made mistakes.  There's plenty that I would change if I had to do it all over again.  But if I went back in time to fix things, there's a lot I would miss out on learning too.  These are 5 things I've learned or started to learn in my 20s:

1.  You don't have to have everything figured out or know where things will lead.  In fact, you can't have everything figured out or know exactly where each action you take will lead.  Priorities will change, interests shift, and circumstances will be altered... so much is out of our control, so it's rather naive to think that decisions you make as a teenager will last forever.  But that is how I thought.  So that being said, I've been learning that there really isn't such thing as wasted time.  The things that I choose to spend my time on could lead me to unexpected places and opportunities, even if that wasn't the plan with them in the first place.  Even if my hobbies don't lead to any new opportunities, that doesn't make them bad or not worthwhile.
   
   
2. Your job isn't your personality.  Maybe this is a byproduct of spending most of my 20s in school working towards becoming a teacher.  I put so much time and energy into becoming a teacher that in time, I didn't have anything else that I really cared to talk about.  I lost sight of hobbies that I used to enjoy and all of my free time was devoted to my job (planning, grading, contacting home for students).  But since having my son, I feel like I've woken up a little bit.  I realized how much of my life was devoted to work and not to my family or to my interests.  I'm never going to claim to be perfect at this balance, but I think I've made some good steps in re-evaluating different parts of my life so they're more in balance with my job.
   
   
3. It's not enough to be silent around those who hurt you if you also want change to happen.  Silence is communication, but I can't say it's always the clearest form of communication.  If I'm angry because my wife said or did something that hurt me, nothing improves by giving her the cold shoulder.  She's just left to wonder why (or ignore me if she chooses, but she usually doesn't).  If a family member or a friend screws up and I just decide to cut them off, how are they ever going to understand why I'm reacting this way if I don't say something?  
   
   
4. Appreciate where you are.  There is beauty in the journey to wherever you're headed next.  Thinking of the difficult things I've been through in the last decade, I'm realizing that this was when I found the supporters in my life.  This is when the quiet moments meant more than the loud celebrations at times.  This is where I would be forced to listen to myself in a way that I didn't always used to.  Those are all good things to come from hard times.  The end goals will come, the day-to-day appreciation of the mundane is what can take work sometimes.
   
   
5. Leaning on others is not a weakness.  I'm still learning to accept help when it's offered and to ask for it, but I'm getting better at it.  I'm a very independent person, but no one can be strong all of the time and there are times when others know better.

May I continue to bear these lessons in mind as I enter my 30s and may I be open to what I have to learn in the coming decade.