I Think My Duolingo Routine Is Sticking Around This Time!

 One of my goals this year was to clock over 300 days on Duolingo, particularly in Spanish. Lots of people have done that, so why can't I? I've definitely accomplished a lengthy streak before, but then shortly after accomplishing that goal, my streak usually ends for one reason or another. Now that I know I'm dealing with ADHD now, I've been able to get some insight into why this might be happening. I find that it has to do with novelty. If I manage to accomplish my goal, the novelty of having reached that goal wears off. Or I get bored with the language that I'm learning. Something like that. If it's not novelty, it's motivation failing me. I might be really motivated by having a goal, but once it's accomplished, then I'm over it and it falls by the wayside. 

But this time around, something feels different. I'm feeling more confident that this will stick around even beyond reaching 300 days in a row. Now that I've been reading up more on ADHD and how it functions, I'm more aware of what I might need to make certain habits stick around for a long time! Here's what I've found and why I think it's working:

1. I have tons of reminders. Right now, I am connected with people who are very active on Duolingo, so their progress is also my motivation. The Duolingo notifications are very dramatic and over the top, but instead of getting annoyed, I'm choosing to take this as a cue. If that fails, I have Duolingo set up as a widget on my phone. All of my apps can be found on one screen (so I don't have to scroll through anything) and Duolingo takes up a big chunk of space. 

I also have other apps that I'm active with, like Finch, and I have daily reminders to practice each of the languages. When I do practice, I can check them off the list and I get daily points for practicing those languages :) It feels really good to me that I'm not putting all of my eggs in one basket, so to speak. I think that's one major reason why I'm slipped in the past.

ADHD-Friendly Elements: Multiple reminders throughout the day, keeping the important things in sight, creating urgency

2. Flexible features within the app. Before talking about other reasons why I've been able to stick to my language practice, I want to talk about specific things that are working for me within the app itself. Varied practices even in a single language keep things interesting for me. Take Hindi, for example, since I am learning not only vocabulary, but also an entirely new-to-me alphabet: sometimes I'm translating sentences in Hindi, or "writing" sentences in Hindi characters, practicing writing out the individual characters, reviewing vocabulary, doing listening activities... there's a lot going on! It's not all the same all the time. 

Duolingo is also good about celebrating the milestones you hit. And it's not just limited to the number of days you've practiced. There's acknowledgement when you've done a lot of lessons in a day, when you've hit a certain number of perfect weeks of practice, when you've corrected a certain number of mistakes, when I go up a level in a language... lots of different achievements. That pat on the back feels really great!

When you practice enough and earn enough gems, it's really easy to save yourself if you do lapse in your practice time. As of the time I'm writing this, I have a 167 day streak on Duolingo. Is this a true streak in that I have missed literally no days? No. But I was able to freeze my streak with the gems I've earned and then the streak continued once I picked it back up the next day. It's honoring the practice I've done rather than just the number of days that good practice I've managed to keep up. Real life gets in the way sometimes. There are days I'm so exhausted I fall asleep before I've had the chance to practice. But I've never been punished for those lapses or for life taking a different turn than I've planned.

ADHD-Friendly Elements: Positive acknowledgement of achievements big and small, safety nets without guilt (well, not that I take seriously, anyway), novelty through varied activities.

3. I have multiple languages I'm practicing at once! At the moment, I have five languages that are in heavy rotation on Duolingo. I have a few languages that I have studied previously that I am working to keep up and grow in-- Spanish, French, and Dutch. I have one language that is completely new to me, which is Hindi, and takes more effort for me to practice. I also have a language that is interesting to me and in the same language family as another language I'm studying, which is German. This keeps it interesting to me because it's so varied. 

Practicing multiple languages also means I can do the practice that I have the capacity for that day. If things are going really well, I can do multiple lessons in all five languages I'm practicing. If things have been hectic, I know that I can do a lesson in Dutch (which is in the same language family as English and is therefore simpler for me to grasp over other languages) or in French (which I've had a lot more language instruction in, so it's familiar and I'm comfortable enough with the grammar). 

ADHD-Friendly Elements: Novelty through varied activities, novelty through a variety of languages, activities for a variety of energy levels.

4. I am (tentatively) planning a trip. I have a friend who moved to India with his wife nearly two years ago. India has been on my list of places to travel since my undergraduate years, but I'm usually hesitant to go somewhere where I don't know even basic things in the language spoken there. As a result, I have started learning Hindi! It's been hard to learn this language since I'm unfamiliar with any part of the language and the alphabet is different from what I'm used to, but knowing I'm working towards travel has been very motivating.

ADHD-Friendly Elements: Novelty leading to motivation!

I'm feeling really good that my practice has been relatively consistent this year! I'm proud of the things that I've figured out that have been helping too :) Send good thoughts that I'll make it to 300 days and positive vibes that I'll be able to continue my practice even beyond that goal for 2025!

Goals for 2025 (Setting + Reviewing Goals All at Once!)

I'm entirely too late to the game, but... Happy 2025! It may be June now, but when I originally typed this post, it was late December/early January. I love setting goals for the coming year! The older I've gotten, the less pressure I have felt to accomplish each and every one of my goals, but I like the act of setting intentions that this practice gives me. I find that it helps give me a focus and keeps me working towards the person I want to become. So without further ado, here are the goals that I initially set in the beginning of 2025! I'll mark how each goal is going so far too.

1. Get my nose pierced. This is one thing that I have continuously put off. I would really like it if 2025 would be the last year this goal appears on my list! I haven't accomplished this yet.

2. Get a second tattoo. I found that after getting my first tattoo, the experience wasn't nearly as intense as I thought it would be! And this is coming from someone who has anxiety in medical situations, particularly around needles. It's a very different experience. I have some ideas for what I'd like next, so it's just a matter of making a decision, saving up the money, and scheduling the appointment! I haven't done this yet and I'm not sure if it'll happen this year. I have other savings goals that have come up and that I'd like to prioritize!

3. Decorate for all of our holidays. I would really like this to include putting lights on my house, but I will likely need to emphasize non-light-related decor. I would like decorations to make it to the outside of my house, particularly in the front yard. I've done a little more of this this year!

4. Build a fairy garden. I want to create more points of interest around my yard and I think fairy gardens are so cute. This would be a fun way to get me outside but not create a ton of new responsibility for me at the same time. Maybe it would motivate me to keep my yard in order better. So far, I've gotten as far as putting a lot of things on my Amazon wishlist. This will definitely be a slow growth kind of project! I have just the spot to start this fairy garden.

5. Complete 1/2 started house projects. This is one way my ADHD manifests itself, if I'm being perfectly honest. I'm getting kind of sick of having mini-construction zones scattered about my space and having a garage filled with materials that I have acquired for the purpose of accomplishing these different projects around my house. I have a list of projects I have started but have not yet finished in my Google Keep list and I'd like to finish those projects this year if I possibly can! If I can't finish all of them, I would at least like to finish a majority of them. Finishing updating the electrical in my house is the main task that relies on another person, so I'll be flexible with that project, but I don't necessarily need someone else to help me with everything else on the list. I have what I need to put my back porch in order and I have built a tool storage space in my basement! Progress :)

6. Have regular hobby days each month and keep them sacred. Having crawled my way to winter break this school year and struggling with feeling so drained, I want to make sure I'm making time for hobbies. One way I can make sure that happens is scheduling in that time. I'm resolving to have days I mark on my calendar specifically to sit and do some of my hobbies. I haven't gone as far as to schedule entire days where I'm just focusing on hobbies, but I have definitely been finding ways to bring them to the forefront of my mind each day. Right now this looks like a standing to-do list that appears on each day of my bullet journal. So I'm at least checking in each day about my language practice, whether or not I've made time to read, journal and write my own fan fiction. It's progress :)

7. Take voice lessons and/or find an outlet for singing. My family can probably attest to this, but I have loved singing from a very young age. I was painfully shy about it as a kid if someone commented on my voice but honestly, the older I've gotten and since having a kid, I've become more open to singing in front of other people. So I want to find a way to lean into that discomfort some more and make public singing less scary for myself. I've found a glee club in my neighborhood that has 6-week sessions and I've "discovered" the community education theater that puts on musicals in the summer. Somehow I want to sing with other people and in a public way. It'll be a real challenge for me. I haven't made steps in this area yet, but I also know it's not too late to make steps!

8. Take up piano again. I was one of those weird kids that actually asked to take piano lessons when I was in... I believe high school. The problem is, even though I asked for them, I really hated practicing. I don't necessarily want to sign up for lessons again for fear of the same outcome happening (where I don't practice), but I do want to brush up on what I did learn and maybe even create some kind of regular practice on my own. I have been practicing music on Duolingo, which has been fun and has been good practice reading music again! But ultimately, it's not the same. So I will need to adjust my tactic somewhat.

9. Make writing retreats a regular practice. My cooperating teacher when I was doing my stint of student teaching is an awesome writer and researcher. I really look up to her and one of the things she does is go on writing retreats. Sometimes they're with other people who are also writers and sometimes they're alone, but she always makes a point to get away and just focus on her writing. I want to give this a try and make this something that I do. I already do retreats for scrapbooking, so why not extend this to weekends away to focus on writing? I think it would be good for me as I work to better cultivate this part of myself. I haven't made this a regular practice yet, but I still have half a year to make this happen! Even doing this once would be really nice.

10. Create a teaching portfolio. I have been putting this out into the universe more the longer I've been a teacher: I'm not going to be teaching at my same school forever. At the time of this writing, I have been teaching 9th grade for 8 years (if you include my semester of student teaching) and I've worked at my current school (small community, charter, Title I) for 7 1/2 years. Small communities make it really easy to jump in and work to make a noticeable difference, if you're willing to put in the work, and I pride myself on being as involved as I am in my school community. So I want to pull together the units I have planned as the sole 9th grade language arts teacher and showcase the projects I have brought to my community in the form of a portfolio that can be shared with schools I may approach in the future. That way they can see what I'm all about and show them what I'm like as an educator through the different experiences I've had and cultivated since my initial licensure. I will need to make a post about changing teaching positions at some point this year. I have had to recount a lot of my teaching experience verbally, but I have yet to create a digital space (even adding on to what I created in grad school) where I am sharing student work and things I've created over the years. I definitely want to start this sooner rather than later though. Once summer is over, it'll be harder to make time to do this little project.

11. Visit every small/local coffee shop in my area. I've already made a list and I'm so excited for this :) We moved into our house in 2022 and since then, I really haven't ventured out and around our neighborhood beyond where we get our necessities for the week. So I want to prioritize exploring! I like coffee and coffee shop environments, so why not start here and find my new favorite places? Some progress has been made! But realistically, I would be shocked if I finished this goal in one year.

12. Clock 300+ days on Duolingo (specifically in Spanish). I really fell off the Duolingo train/Spanish practice at the end of last year, but I want to keep learning and growing in this area. I have an opportunity with students who at the moment speak mostly Spanish and are getting used to being educated in English, so they are receiving instruction bilingually. I'm doing really well with this goal! I'll talk about it more in a separate post :)

13. Schedule regular dates with my wife and stick to them! We definitely don't have a routine with this. Dates have been rather far and few between. I think we need to find what works for us. Since the beginning of the year though, she planned and executed a date for us and that was really lovely :)

14. Create a cleaning routine that is manageable on a weekly basis. I have found a tool that makes tracking this easier, but a routine remains elusive so far.

Reflecting on My 2024 Goals

It's that time of year again! Time to look back on the goals I set for myself at the beginning of 2024 and then wax reflective about each of them and how my attempts to accomplish each one went :)

✅ Get a tattoo.  I did this!! After years of saying I would like to get a tattoo, I finally followed through and got one that I loved :) My artist was a former neighbor of mine and he now has a shop just a short ways away from where I live. He was so easy to work with and honestly, as a very anxious and needle-averse person, it was so not a big deal. I was glad I brought a friend with me, but in the future when I get more tattoos (because there WILL be more tattoos!), I would be fine to go alone if it came down to it.

🤏 Create a rhythm for blogging.  I became a little more regular with my blog posts, but I definitely didn't hit a rhythm like I had hoped. I think this year was more about trying to answer the question, "So if I'm not writing book reviews anymore, what AM I writing about?" I spent a good amount of the time I did publish just following my interests and writing about the things that were weighing on my mind. So I think good steps were made, but I didn't identify the right goal for where I'm at in this process. I'll keep trying though!

❌ Get my nose pierced.  Didn't happen yet, but once again, I'm pushing this forward into my 2025 goals. Maybe this year will be the year!

✅ 52 weeks of gratitude.  I did it! Doing this in a weekly format as opposed to the daily format that I tried to pull off in 2023 was much more achievable. It was nice to sit down at the end of the week and think about things that I was grateful for, no matter what the week had been like. In fact, it was especially nice to do when it had been an exceptionally hard week. When things at work felt like they were falling apart around me, when my grandpa passed away, when my son was having a really hard time at school and needed more support than anyone thought he would need... it was a really good mental health practice to look for the good. The ways I was supported. The distractions that came at a good time and provided a reprieve. Whatever those glints of gold looked like for the week.

⚠️ Find a side-hustle.   I ended up taking this goal off of my list because it fell off the list of importance for me. I have this habit and history of only doing things if I know I will get paid for doing them. It's easier to justify taking on more things and trying new things if I'm getting paid to do them. But this realization hit me this year that... my time is precious? And my hobbies don't have to be monetized in order to enjoy them. So instead of stressing myself out trying to find more work to fill the time I don't necessarily have on a regular basis, I decided that it felt better to let this goal go. Temporary work has still presented itself at times through my full-time teaching job and my summer work and those have been greatly appreciated without feeling too overwhelming!

✅ Write for the purpose of publication.  This goal was at the forefront of my mind all year, but ended up getting accomplished in a way I didn't expect! I started out the year with the idea that I would submit smaller bits of work (like poems, for example) and slowly pick at a novel project of my own creation. And I did pick at a novel project of my own creation. But my interest in that project fizzled out after a while. Where I found some traction and modest success was in writing Harry Potter fan fiction and publishing it on Archive of Our Own. After months and months of reading every bit of Harry Potter fan fiction I could get my hands on, I decided to make the leap and write my own fan fiction pieces. In 2024, I finish one short work (27,000+ words over 8 chapters, which was 7 more chapters than I planned on writing) and I have a work in progress that is, as of this writing, 19,000+ words over four chapters with more in the works. It has been so fun to have a regular writing practice, projects that I'm constantly working on, and I also have the urgency of knowing that people are reading what I write, whether it's finished or not. I am trying to keep myself in check and not overly concern myself with the numbers side of things. Mostly, I'm proud of myself for taking pride in my own writing and actually having fun again :)

🤏 Decorate for all of the holidays.  When I wrote this goal, I had it in my head that decorations would be visible from the street and would be very obvious on the front of my house. Due to an electrical issue that is minor but I don't have the skills to fix, we couldn't (safely) put up lights on our house and that just kind of took the excitement out of decorating for me. Some decoration happened inside my house. I want to make an effort to make more of a holiday decorating effort outside of my house in 2025, but until we fix the electrical issue, I'll have to think of ways that don't involve lights (at least the kind that plug in).

✅ Understand my ADHD brain better.  I didn't read as many books on this subject as I wanted, but I had a good, quality book that I was steadily working my way through this year. And I've learned a ton about how my brain works!

⚠️ Learn to identify agates.   Plain and simple: this goal just wasn't interesting to me anymore, so I let it go. No worries. It happens.

✅ Find/rediscover mobile hobbies.  2024 was the year that I got into embroidery and upped my sewing game a little bit :) I ended up taking embroidery hoops and just the thread I needed for the project I was currently working on when I went away from home for a few days. If I was working on sewing a plush, I would bring what I needed in order to keep the project moving 

❌ Go through the junk boxes I've been avoiding.  I continued to avoid the doom boxes. But they will make a comeback on my 2025 goals.

❌ Create an indoor storage system for tools.  I acquired most of the needed materials, but that's about it. I'll have to execute at the beginning of 2025 in order to make my projects easier to accomplish once it starts warming up outside again.

✅ Create a savings.  Success!

🤏 Learn basic electrical.  This is something I started, but due to my father-in-law's schedule and professional demands, it's been hard to be consistent with this. We'll continue to make progress in 2025.

✅ Physical and Digital Book No-Buy Year. This was a moderate success! Did I still acquire books? Yes... but in a way that fit my rules with very few exceptions. Now I just need to read more of my digital books that I've acquired over time. I don't plan to go nuts with books now that my no-buy year is over.

I'm proud of the things I've gotten to check off this list this year! I've met people who are into setting resolutions and others who think resolutions are lame and pointless. But I find that they help me create focus points in my life. I can always evaluate when my priorities change. Goals like these help me work towards becoming the person I want to be. We're all works in progress.

2025 goals will be coming soon as well as other non-goal-related posts!

Mental Health and Transparency with Students

 In October 2023, after seeking out and going through ADHD testing, I received a formal diagnosis from a psychiatrist. I spent the remainder of last school year thinking through what this diagnosis means for me, exploring medication (and whether that would be helpful for me or not), figuring out systems that are helpful for me as a mom and a teacher with ADHD.

On top of that, I have dealt with mainly facial tics for as long as I can remember (though they affect other parts of my body too). They look like twitching and other uncontrollable movements in my neck and face. It can also look like repeated movements and sounds (like coughing). They tend to get worse when I'm stressed and I can get into periods where it's incredibly hard if not impossible to stop doing those movements or making the sounds I do.

In the past, I have never said anything about my ticks and have gone into the school year hoping that people wouldn't notice. But the longer I taught, suddenly I had students asking me why I made jerky movements or asking if I was angry with them when they'd see a facial tick that distorted my expression. I realized I was unintentionally sending mixed signals. Once I was diagnosed with ADHD though, I felt compelled (maybe with a hint of obligation as well) to say something to my classes and that brought into question whether I would also say something about my tics. 

I spent the summer of 2024 contemplating what the benefits of sharing both of these things might be and if it would make my job harder or easier. Ultimately, I decided it would make things better enough to talk about it. Here's why:

1. Students wouldn't have to question what I was really thinking and feeling because of my struggles. Communication could be clearer.
2. According to the CDC, roughly 10% of 3-17 year olds in the U.S. have been diagnosed with ADHD. Maybe seeing someone with ADHD in a role like teaching that requires a lot of organization and planning ahead could show them some of the possibilities for their life-- nothing is off the table.
3. There would be a better understanding that I'm not doing unhelpful things (like having a messy space or taking a long time to grade things) on purpose. They're just harder tasks for me to accomplish.

At the beginning of each year, I usually play a game of "What Do You Assume?" and have students guess things about me. They can be simple and mundane things, but they're usually things students tend to ask me when given enough time. What's my family like? How long have I been a teacher? Am I married? Do I have kids? But I also have an "other" section where I share other things about me that don't fit into these categories. For example, what movies and shows are my favorite? What am I involved in at my school? These aren't things that I make students guess the answer to, but I'll just share with them because they help solidify with students that I'm human and I have lots of other things happening in my life when I show up for class. So this year, I decided to include my ADHD and tics in my introduction. I shared what "my flavor" of ADHD and tics looked like in me since I am not everyone and both disorders look different from person to person.

At the time of writing this, I have completed the first 14 weeks of the school year (I'm writing this on Thanksgiving Break). That's enough time to form relationships with students, get behind then caught up then even more behind on grading, and form a routine within my own classroom and have feelings about said routine. Here's what I'm noticing:

1. It's not a magic bullet. Just because I shared these things with students doesn't mean that they will approach me with instant understanding when I haven't graded their assignments in three weeks (or longer). They aren't infinitely patient when I ask four or five times what they said after repeatedly not truly hearing/understanding them. They don't automatically get it when I forget things they asked me or told me.
   
   
2. Students watch closer than I think AND/OR Sometimes
   I'm better at masking than I think. I had a student recently who told me he thought I was lying about having tics because he hadn't seen them. They've been there and holy cow, they've been a lot to handle recently with everything that's been thrown my way this school year. Alternatively, another student commented to me that she understood what I meant about tics now because she was seeing them more frequently. Months had passed between the initial conversation and these follow-up comments and yet, this had been simmering in the back of their minds somewhere. There's curiosity especially around my tics. But this makes sense because according to this article, around 1% of people have a tic disorder, so compared to ADHD, it's pretty rare.
   
   
3. I have language to talk about what I'm experiencing. In those times when I'm trying really hard to listen to a student but the language just isn't coming through, I've been known to say something like, "I'm sorry, my brain isn't processing language well today. Can you tell me what you said again?" And it doesn't feel weird or like I'm making an excuse. I'm being real about what's happening in my brain and making it clear that I'm not ignoring students or not listening to students. I'm able to avoid saying "Sorry, I didn't hear you" without having to explain what I mean as an immediate follow-up. It's a small thing, but for me it makes a difference.
   
   
4. I feel like I have to hide less. I still feel negative feelings when I forget things, and struggle to keep my focus, or get stuck in a cycle I feel like I can't get out of with my motor tics, but it's mainly because I've caught myself, not because I've been called out by a student. Both are not-good feelings, but I can deal with the feelings that come from within myself better that I can deal with the external reminders, if that makes sense. I don't have to have a recovery period of "it's fine, no seriously, everything is fine" like I tried to do before. So my discomfort doesn't last as long as it used to.

All of this is not to say that everyone should go out and disclose what's going on with their bodies and brains if they work in a people-facing type of job. If anything, I'm more aware of just how personal of a decision this is. I think ultimately for me, even with the awkward moments, it was worth it. I feel like I'm living a more honest life while at work. And that feels really good.

Update: Book No-Buy Year!

We are now nearing the end of July, so over the halfway mark for 2024! It's time for a check-in. I'll double-check and make sure that the rules I set for myself are still sound and are working for what I'm going for..

As a reminder, my personal set of rules for my Book No Buy Year are as follows:

Green Light: Book Purchases and Acquirements I Can Make

• Any books bought or pre-ordered prior to the start of 2024 are fair game (that being said, I did not treat this as permission to go wild). --> No problem. All pre-ordered, pre-purchased books have been accounted for at this point. There have been a few books that I've been bummed I can't purchase until next year though. I have lapsed just once in this area-- a bought a book that a friend of mine wrote and illustrated. That purchase happened recently. I'm not concerned that this will happen for the rest of the year though. I think in general, this rule is doing its job.

Yellow Light: Limits and Exceptions for Book Purchases and Acquirements

• Presents for others, thoughtfully gifted (thrifted books as much as possible).  The only occasions where this can happen are birthdays and Christmas.  I want to avoid "just because" gifts of books. --> No problem here!
• I can enter contests for books as long as I don't have to pay for them.  The odds of me actually winning these drawings are very, very slim.  I'm thinking particularly of GoodReads for this. --> All good here. I have entered contests through GoodReads and I haven't won a single one of them. So I think this is an okay exception still!
• I can buy a book if I need it for work or a class.  First though, I must check the library to see if it's available within a week or two there.  If it's not, I can opt for a digital copy.  If a digital copy isn't available, then a hard copy can be acquired (secondhand as often as possible). --> I have taken advantage of this one, so I have acquired a few books because of this. I have acquired two writing instruction books and two books that college students were trying to teach to middle school students. I don't think I've gone too overboard in this area!
• Request books on NetGalley if I have immediate plans and desires to read that book.  I don't want to create a new backlog just because I want to read brand new stories. --> I wouldn't call this out of control, but I have definitely gotten a NetGalley book or two have haven't finished all of them in a timely manner like I'm supposed to. With summer quickly nearing an end and school coming up, I should prioritize reading those books. We'll see what happens though!
• I can use the library to find a mode of a book that I don't already own (for example, if I own a physical copy of a book but I'd rather listen to the audiobook). --> You know, I haven't done this as much as I thought I would. I think this is a reasonable accommodation, so I'll keep it.

Red Light: Hard Boundaries Around Book Purchases and Acquirements

• I won't repurchase any books I used to own but previously gave up-- nostalgia is not a good enough reason to acquire or re-acquire books --> No problems here!
• Keep Audible account on pause so that I can keep listening to the books I already have but without acquiring more credits --> Okay, I had a very small issue here. I forgot that when you pause your Audible account, it only lasts for three months. So I believe I was accidentally charged for a month. As a result, I chose an audiobook because otherwise, I would lose that credit. I canceled my account since then so it hasn't been an issue.
• Sites like Chirp and BookBub can be used to inspire requests at the library and adding books to my GoodReads TBR, but I cannot take advantage of any of the steep discounts for the duration of 2024, including books that are free. --> You know, it's been easier to avoid these emails advertising cheap ebooks and audiobooks altogether. So this hasn't been an issue, really!
• No buying physical versions of digital books I fall in love with just to own a hard copy of that book. --> No problems here!

I have severely limited the number of books I am personally bringing into my house. I don't feel like I need to have a ton of books in my possession. Even physical books from the library I'm a little resistant to because I always turn them in late and that upsets the librarians a little bit. I have noticed that I've shifted my attention to the other books in my house that belong to other people. With my son, that's not such a problem. It's been ages since I decluttered his books. His books are my purview and it's my job to keep them organized. But my wife's books? I shouldn't be concerning myself with those, but I am. So I'll have to work through that thought process and help give her space to store her books. 

Overall, I'm pleased with how this challenge is going. It's keeping my impulses in check. But now I'd love to see me start reading more of the books I own (physical or otherwise). That'll be my challenge going into the rest of this year.

Wish me luck!

Fanfiction Made Me Love Harry Potter More

2024 has quickly become the year of rediscovering parts of my childhood in many different ways, but one way I didn't expect that to occur was by taking a deep dive into fanfiction, specifically Harry Potter fanfiction. I don't know if I could tell you how this obsession started, since I didn't read fanfiction as a kid. Yet, here I am, thirty years old and I'm creating notes on Google Keep so I can keep track of the fanfiction I've been loving, which ones I'm in the middle of, and which ones I need to return to periodically to see if there are updates. My phone tells me that I've been averaging 6-7 1/2 hours a day on my phone lately and that's all because I've been reading fanfiction almost constantly, since it's at my fingertips. I've been allowing myself to dive back into Harry Potter in a way that I haven't indulged in quite some time.

Once it came to light that She Who Must Not Be Named (aka the author of this beloved series) is a transphobic and all-around problematic and terrible person, tons of people felt really conflicted about being part of the fandom. I know I felt that complication tugging at me and still do, to a certain extent. Yet, somehow, fanfiction has been a balm to soothe this ache I've been feeling as I attempt to be a good ally and still partaking in my favorite fandoms and that helped shape me into the person I am today. It's been a really nice way to have more adventures with characters I love while not supporting the author.

I was extremely surprised to find that fanfiction comes in all sorts of lengths as well as styles. There are plenty of one-shot stories that look at one specific part of the fandoms people write about and consider the "what ifs" that the series leaves behind. But then there are also tons of rewrites or complete departures that do the same thing, but in novel-length writing! Some of my favorites involve seeing what might happen if Voldemort recognized the signs that Harry is the horcrux he never intended to make and seeing Harry actually be raised by his parents or at least by Sirius.

There are relationships I wish the author could have explored explored (or not...) and we get to see how things could be if certain characters ended up with each other, broke up with each other, remained friends, etc. (for the record, I'm now a huge Draco/Harry shipper). Things that are subtle or glossed over in the series can now be looked at and scrutinized. Harry doesn't have to be okay with growing up abused and neglected. He can stand up to the adults that continuously did him wrong and let things slide when they really shouldn't have. Characters, like Snape, are able to redeem themselves in ways that actually feel like they make a difference in Harry's life and to the Wizarding World. Harry has been able to get therapy to help him work through the staggering amount of trauma he has been through in his life. People who died in the series get a second chance and they get to rise to the occasion of being the mentors, parents, friends, and family that they didn't get to be either at all or for long enough. And it's been amazing! 

Getting away from plot points, there's also the matter of representation being a much bigger thing that it is in the original series, particularly LGBTQ+ representation. To get personal for a moment, I didn't really dig into my own sexuality until I started college. Not because I lived in a repressive household or had an unsupportive family or anything like that, it just didn't occur to me to think about it too hard and try and put a label to things. I was just myself. But then this summer, I was reading a story in which Harry discloses to someone with the same amount of casualness I had that he is pansexual-- if he's attracted to you, he's attracted to you. Gender isn't really a factor for him. I was reading in the car next to my wife and I audibly squealed because I literally felt so seen. Harry was coming out to someone with so little fanfare and with so much assurance that that's just part of who he is that it almost wasn't even worth mentioning. I've also come across stories where characters have different mental and physical health conditions and that's all representation too.

These fan pieces have made this story feel much more well-rounded and real than they ever have before, which I didn't think was possible. I really didn't give this type of writing the credit it deserves. It's been so lovely to dip my toes back in this world and not be left feeling gross or jaded or something else after diving in head first after not being as immersed in this world for quite some time. I feel more connected with the community surrounding this fandom, I feel more connected with myself in some ways, and I even feel more connected to my wife since we've been able to talk about this.

Who knows, maybe I don't need to stop at reading fanfiction. Maybe now it's time to try my hand at writing it now.

Setting Up For A Book No-Buy Year

 It's no secret, especially to the people who know me personally, that I love books.  Last year I read over 60 books (I just looked it up, the average American, whatever that means, reads 12.6 books per year... I don't know what I thought the average would be, but that is pretty darn low).  One thing that afflicts many heavy readers is the collection of books in our personal libraries that never get read.  I am 100% guilty of a large TBR pile.  This is the year I want to make a concerted effort to make this situation better.

Right now, my collection of books fits in my home office, which is great.  I don't want my collection to expand beyond these confines.  But that's the thing... my physical collection of books is fairly manageable... my digital collection, however, is a different story... don't check my Audible or Kindle lists...

Over the years, I have heard of people starting a no-buy or low-spend year for either particular areas of their lives or all areas of their lives.  I love the idea of using what we have before getting a new thing, appreciating what we have, and paring down the belongings we own.  I don't think I can ever be a true minimalist, but perhaps I can be a better minimalist when it comes to my personal collection of books.

The Mission: Forego buying any books (physical or digital) for the year of 2024!

Why do I want to go to the trouble of having a no-buy year for books?

1. So I read more of the books I have that have been gathering physical or digital dust
2. So I can save money and/or re-allocate money I would have spent on books somewhere else
3. So I can declutter my belongings

How I Prepared

1. 
   Reorganizing and Decluttering.  This is mainly for my physical books.  I went through all of the books in my office and took them off the shelves.  First, I took out the books that I have read and don't want to keep in my office anymore.  These books will go to my classroom.  I think a number of them I took from my classroom library in the first place, so they're going home.  Then, I sorted through the books that I have not read.  All of those books have been relocated to one area.  That way, I don't have to go on a hunt for the books that I haven't read.  I'm taking the guesswork out of things.  I have a small pile of physical library books from the public library and the school library and those now have a designated place in my office.  In the photos on the right, all of the books in the top photo have not been read and in the bottom photo, the top shelf and most of the lower standing books are all candidates for me to read this year!  This practice also helped me get rid of duplicates that had been taking up space on my shelves.  
   
   
2. Create a physical list of all the books I own and have not read.  I did this in my bullet journal.  There's a list of all of my physical books, eBooks, and audiobooks on separate lists.  This was honestly so eye-opening for me because it made me realize the true extent of my book-hoarding issue.  I have a good number of physical books that I haven't read, but they're quite contained.  The danger for me lies in my digital books.  Holy cow, I have acquired so many eBooks over the years and a vast number of audiobooks too.  In all, across all modes but not including books I have in more than one medium, I have 279 books that I have not read yet.  This helped me go back to the rules that I wrote and be more strict on the limits I put on myself.  For example, I was going to allow myself to borrow books from the library freely-- I'm not spending money on those books, after all.  But I have access to so many books.  It will take me years to read through all of them.  There's no reason for me to bring in a lot of new titles.
   
   
3. Create smaller, monthly TBRs.  This will help me prioritize what I own and allow me to keep these books at my fingertips-- I'm creating a path of least resistance.  I think this will make the task of reading my books a little less overwhelming than staring at a wall of unfinished books constantly.

The Rules

One aspect of a No-Buy year is to create lists of things that are okay to buy, exceptions to this mission, and hard boundaries to achieve my goals in starting a book no-buy year in the first place.

Green Light: Book Purchases and Acquirements I Can Make

• Any books bought or pre-ordered prior to the start of 2024 are fair game (that being said, I did not treat this as permission to go wild).

Yellow Light: Limits and Exceptions for Book Purchases and Acquirements

• Presents for others, thoughtfully gifted (thrifted books as much as possible).  The only occasions where this can happen are birthdays and Christmas.  I want to avoid "just because" gifts of books.
• I can enter contests for books as long as I don't have to pay for them.  The odds of me actually winning these drawings are very, very slim.  I'm thinking particularly of GoodReads for this.
• I can buy a book if I need it for work or a class.  First though, I must check the library to see if it's available within a week or two there.  If it's not, I can opt for a digital copy.  If a digital copy isn't available, then a hard copy can be acquired (secondhand as often as possible).
• Request books on NetGalley if I have immediate plans and desires to read that book.  I don't want to create a new backlog just because I want to read brand new stories.
• I can use the library to find a mode of a book that I don't already own (for example, if I own a physical copy of a book but I'd rather listen to the audiobook).

Red Light: Hard Boundaries Around Book Purchases and Acquirements

• 
  I won't repurchase any books I used to own but previously gave up-- nostalgia is not a good enough reason to acquire or re-acquire books
• Keep Audible account on pause so that I can keep listening to the books I already have but without acquiring more credits
• Sites like Chirp and BookBub can be used to inspire requests at the library and adding books to my GoodReads TBR, but I cannot take advantage of any of the steep discounts for the duration of 2024, including books that are free.
• No buying physical versions of digital books I fall in love with just to own a hard copy of that book.

These are the "rules" I can think of right now.  I'll revisit this list periodically to make sure it's still working for me.  I imagine that I'll come across the rare situation that I could not have foreseen that I'll have to make a decision about in the moment.  But I think the rules above will help me chip away at my backlog of books before diving into new books.  I plan to do periodic updates on this task, so I'll be able to report back what is working and what struggles I'm having.  I'm really looking forward to this!